(8 min read)

Have you ever had a thought or situation just run…run…and run in your mind? Just can’t shake it…Well, when that happens to me, I know there is something within me that I need to take some time to look at, self reflect, and resolve. Otherwise, my energy just gets siphoned out of me. In the world of shamanism and healing practices, it’s referred to as an Energy Leak, time to PLUG UP THE HOLE!

So, what better way to get this “spinning record” of my own thoughts out of my head? Yup, write it down! Just get it out!

Well before I go into the story. I feel you should know a little something about me. I am extremely integrous. When I used to work for the Police Department, I often was described by others as having a lot of integrity. Frankly, I needed to. I worked with and managed confidential records as well as enforced State and Local code. Plus I am just hard wired that way. Even as a kid, I could not lie or be deceitful. I would even call my dad out when he misspoke the truth and changed facts…Boy, he must have been so annoyed by that…haha. It did have some good outcomes when I would stand up for others at school.

OMG my body is like a barometer for when someone, something, or myself is out of integrity. It’s like a giant bell is sounded that just will not stop ringing. Only God knows how I lasted 14 ½ years in Law Enforcement and City Government. People are against and crossing that edge all the time…urg! But it’s true. I have a visceral response in my body; my moral compass is quite strong.

You may be wondering what has launched this internal dialogue? Well, I was witnessing a spiritual leader/influencer proceed to share on Instagram a screenshot of one of her followers posts that stated her opinion about the way she was dressed. She asked her to “cover-up” and said she was looking “unsavory.” The spiritual leader responded back, “Get Lost.” I am not certain what was posted after that because it was blocked from the image. I am guessing that action also controls the narrative.

Now, I am not writing this to be in judgment of anyone or their choices here. I believe all of us are learning and growing at different levels, speeds, and evolve in our own divine time, soul speaking. We always have the opportunity to course correct.

Hmm, ding ding ding…going off in my body.

The synchronicities for one, are always interesting. If you’ve been following any of my prior blogs or Instagram posts the past week or so, they have been about the POWER OF WILL (VOICE) and its relationship to the DIVINE SPARK in your Heart which connects you to your Higher Self. As well as the power of discernment and allowing for a pause before responding.

You see, the pause allows you space to go inward and take notice of any feelings and emotions being activated within you. You can just be a witness to your internal being then, allow yourself to acknowledge the emotions, but not react from them. Call in your Higher Self, through your Heart Center, and wait until the higher expression comes through.

While I too had my initial response to this woman’s strong opinion and was a bit taken back by its nature. I later realized this follower was suffering inside. It made me wonder what her upbringing was like in her youth. I proceeded to comment in the stream the following, “Hmm makes me wonder what was in her upbringing, perhaps a little compassion is also needed.” Surprisingly, the spiritual leader responded to my post and stated, “Tough Love. She needs to learn her lesson about the use of words. She felt a bit older.”

That really lit a fire in me. I tried to respond back, but for some reason the post would not go through. Clearly, it’s been on my mind all day. You see, when working with Heart Center and Higher Self, it is moments such as these when we are pushed to our limits, when you need to Connect the most with the Higher Self. Perhaps being stretched to your outer edges of tolerance.

The opportunity for Transformation exists at your edges and borders of yourself. Some might say that’s where war and growth exist. That choice is your own.

While what the woman said was received as personal criticism, what I feel was forgotten in the heat of the moment, was she too is part of the whole of life. There is some aspect of her in all of us. Proceeding to involve the rest of the followers in it may not have been the best choice.

I would find it hard to believe that any of you reading this, I include myself in this as well,  have not criticized yourself or someone else even if it’s a passing thought.

The qualities of INTEGRITY and SELF CONTROL of the Blue Flame (Power of Will) are challenging to master. It requires the ability to LISTEN and to no longer perceive life experiences as personal. Intimate? YES, but personally, NO.

What? Not take life as PERSONAL? Yes, I just said that.

Remembering, I am speaking from a Soul growth perspective and Energy perspective. I believe we are all here on this planet to return to our Self Mastery and remember to master our divine qualities and Power which will bring healing, liberation, freedom and sense of Oneness with all of life. Separation does not exist in this liminal space. All of it moves towards the same goal, evolution of your soul, and trust in Oneness which you are an aspect of.

If all things in life are supporting your soul growth, it seems to make more sense to me, to receive these challenging moments with HUMILITY and GRATITUDE. That does not mean it will take away human emotion and feelings. You will just learn to interpret through another lens. It no longer gives room to make the excuse, “Well I am Just HUMAN ” and dismiss your behavior thus placing yourself above another person.

Mind you, I too fell into the initial response and stream of comments that bolstered the spiritual leader, then I quickly realized, all this was “wrong.” My body contracted. I witnessed her comment “GET LOST” and sharing it unintentionally caused the follower who made the initial post to become a target. I feel the initial criticism struck something deeper in the Spiritual Leader that already lived within her so she lashed out.  I feel compassion and forgiveness is needed for all parties involved. It struck something in all who viewed it.

It begs the questions for me, “How can I be more mindful in recognizing the POWER of Will?” May I let the God in me speak and be expressed. It’s not okay to strike down another because I am feeling hurt or attacked. That’s the moment to pause, shine light on it, and ask for grace in your words and being. Give space to move from pain and suffering to discomfort and healing.

As I was writing this, I thought of Teresa of Avila. I became curious and searched for her name. I came across this excerpt from Carolyn Myss’ book The Interior Castle based on Teresa of Avila’s teachings. I felt wow, this is synchronistic, and I feel will bring this writing full circle.

“Teresa understood the pain of betrayal, having been the subject of her fellow nuns’ gossip and criticism. But, she points out, praise is equally painful. Both praise and criticism test the ego and the soul; illusions of earthly power can seduce anyone who is unable to remain humble. A rise in power and status always brings challenges, and everyone around you — professional colleagues, friends, or family — will have opinions of your conduct. Few people will praise you, especially if they perceive that your empowerment diminishes theirs. You will be a target of criticism — on that you can count. Thus, it is wise to know how to maneuver through ups and downs, through cycles of power and disempowerment. Teresa gives five specific rules for dealing with your need for praise and vulnerability to criticism. Each is as valuable to someone on a spiritual path as it would be to anyone in the outside world, because the underlying issues concern the management of power, vanity, ego, and the control we give to others over our lives. Here are her rules to hold to in your inner and external life.

  • Do not be judgmental. Everyone, including you, is quick to make both positive and negative judgments of others and of the trials God sends us. You never know the truth of what God has in mind. To judge anything at all is an error.
  • Never envy the experiences of others, spiritually or otherwise, because envy reveals a lack of humility. By your actions and attitude, you are demanding to be given what is not rightly yours. To envy the mystical experiences or the spiritual life or calling of others hurts the soul. Envy is a reptile.
  • Everything good about you comes from God — your talent, your skills, and all your abilities; thus, you should not take credit. To fuel your ego shows a lack of wisdom. Control your ego, be humble about your gifts so that you do not misuse them; when you keep yourself focused and clear that God is truly the source of your gifts, your struggle with being pulled apart by either praise or criticism will cease.
  • Remain humble. Do not look for praise. When someone praises you for your gifts, do not let the energy of that praise penetrate your ego or your mind. It will fuel your insecurities rather than support your soul. You will begin to think, What if I lose this talent? or, What if I fail? You will begin to torment yourself with thoughts of how others are judging your actions. You will create goals for yourself instead of listening to inner instructions and guidance for how you are supposed to use your gifts. Soon your gifts will fall under the control of others, as you will fall prey to their judgments of you and lose sight of your trust in God.
  • Develop a special appreciation of those who criticize you; do not resent them. They are your allies. Look at them as sacred adversaries in action in your life. They are more helpful than those who praise you because they support your humbleness. They have a true spiritual role in your life. To resent those who criticize you is to forget that you have also criticized others. Remember to use your soul’s ability to illuminate your shadows so that you see clearly through seemingly negative events. Always, beyond the darkness, God’s great plan is in motion. That is the truth you need to trust. It is a truth reached through prayer and the security of humility (https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/book-reviews/excerpts/view/16612 ).”

Wow, as I read these words of wisdom, I just thought, my heart really needed to read this today and share it with you. Perhaps this would offer guidance as you navigate the experience of Life.

From one open heart to another Thank you for “Listening.”